Lyrics

99 Offers

to "99 Problems" by Jay-Z / Linkin Park

If you can't get an offer, I feel bad for you, son I got 99 offers but Cravath ain't one Come on Got a mic I'm the gunner, the mother fucker Answering questions one after another Professors try to trick me with traps Around Socratic method, I'm running laps 'Cause I come prepared, never scared What'd you say about me, like I ever cared If I got something to say, I'll throw a hand in the air While all the slackers around me sit and stare So put up or shut up, if you can't keep up Don't ask me for notes, just 'cause you're a dumb, what?! All the study groups try to recruit Me, to lead them while I'd rather shoot The fools, the tools, right in their heads Come to think of it, they'd be smarter dead I'm unstoppable, so y'all better run I got 99 offers but Cravath ain't one Hit me 99 offers but Cravath ain't one If you can't get an offer, I feel bad for you, son I got 99 offers but Cravath ain't one I'm as prepared as I can be Got an A in the course in EIP I've got no public interest Stupid hippies make no sense Daddy works at a top ten firm There's no way that I'll get burned Just want one more... 99 offers but Cravath ain't one If you can't get an offer, I feel bad for you, son I got 99 offers but Cravath ain't one I just finished 1L, fresh out of hell Interviewed with lawyers like I knew 'em well Wasn't fazed by the Doubletree circus All my first rounders said, "Come work with us" Callbacks on the spot, recognized a winner When I tried to say no, they took me out to dinner Wined and dined by every firm on this planet Wachtell, Sull Crom, Davis, and Skadden And another twenty firms in addition to those four But only one matters, Cravath, Swaine and Moore Like me, that firm's the originator And you know I'm too good for an imitator White shoe, old school, the big players roll with 'em Training top guns with the Cravath system Full day callback to screen out pretenders I flash my bling to show I'm a big spender Breeze through the interviews, session after session Like a guided missile, I'm on a fuckin' mission Show 'em my transcript, flash 'em my smile I tell the managing partner that I like his style They sit me down in a boardroom at the end of the day And I know that an offer is coming my way Until the HR prick says, "Sorry, son We give out 99 offers, but you ain't one" 99 offers but Cravath ain't one If you can't get an offer, I feel back for you son I got 99 offers but Cravath ain't one Shut up when I'm talking to you! Shut up: Our firm has the lowest quality of life Shut up: Pro bono means no bono Shut up: We will own your soul SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!! Every firm is the same I got 99 offers but Cravath ain't one No partners know our names I got 99 offers but Cravath ain't one You don't care what I say I got 99 offers but Cravath ain't one You just look at my grades I got 99 offers And I'm about to BREAK

If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one Hit me Got a mic He's got the rap patrol on the gat patrol Foes that wanna make sure his casket's closed Rap critics that say he's "money cash hos" He's from the hood, stupid, what type of facts are those If you grew up with holes in your zapitos You'd celebrate the minute you was havin' dough So fuck critics, you can kiss our whole asshole If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast forward Got beef with radio if we don't play they show They don't play out hits, well, we don't give a shit, so All these mags try and use our ass So advertisers can give em more cash for ads... fuckers I don't know what you take us as Or understand the intellegence that Jay-Z has I'm from rags to riches, nigga, we ain't dumb I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one Hit me 99 problems but a bitch ain't one If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one I cannot take this anymore Saying everything I've said before All these words they make no sense I find bliss in ignorance Less I hear the less you'll say You'll find that out anyway Just like before... 99 problems but a bitch ain't one If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one Now once upon a time not too long ago A nigga like myself had to strong arm a ho This is not a ho in the sense of havin' a pussy But a pussy havin' no goddamn sense, try and push me I tried to ignore him and talk to the Lord Pray for him, 'cause some fools just love to perform You know the type, loud as a motor bike But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight The only thing that's gonna happen is I'mma get to clappin' He and his boys gon' be yappin' to the captain And there I go trapped in the kit kat again Back through the system with the riff raff again Fiends on the floor scratchin' again Paparazzi's with they cameras snappin' them D.A. tred to give the nigga the shaft again Half-a-mil for bail 'cause I'm African All because this fool was harrasin' them Tryin to play the boy like he's saccharine But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how I hold my gun I got 99 problems, bein' a bitch ain't one 99 problems but a bitch ain't one If you havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one Shut up when I'm talking to you! Shut up Shut up Shut up SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!! Everything you say to me I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one I need a little room to breathe I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one Everything you say to me I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one I need a little room to breathe I got 99 problems And I'm about to BREAK

Original lyrics copyright © 2006. All rights reserved.