Columbia Law Revue

Beerpong Wizard

to “Pinball Wizard” by The Who

Ever since I was in high school
I've tossed the ping pong ball
At cups numbered one to ten
I made them drink them all
But I ain't played no one like him
His games don't last too long
That nerdy looking one-L
Sure plays some mean beer-pong

Doesn't try to distract you
And never seems to lean
Dips it in the water cup
Always shoots it clean
When the games are over
He's standing like King Kong
That nice nerdy one-L
Sure plays some mean beer-pong

He's a beerpong wizard
It doesn't make much sense
A beerpong wizard
Who does not make offense

How do you think he does it?
(I don't know)
How can he sink them all?

He plays alone at his place
Watchin' how those balls are thrown
Checking trajectories
He's always in the zone
Even does his reading
Drinking all along
That obsessed one-L
Sure plays some mean beer-pong

I thought I was
The best of the best
But he just drained
The last cup I had left

Even at my own home table
He has made me pout
His teammate stood aside
And he just shut me out
When he's on call in class
Never gets one wrong
That smart, nerdy one-L
Sure plays some mean beer-pong

Ever since I was a young boy,
I've played the silver ball.
From Soho down to Brighton
I must have played them all.
but I ain't seen nothing like him
In any amusement hall.
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball!

He stands like a statue,
Becomes part of the machine.
Feeling all the bumpers
Always playing clean.
plays by intuition,
The digit counters fall
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball!

He's a pinball wizard
There has to be a twist.
A pin ball wizard,
S'got such a supple wrist.

How do you think he does it?
I don't know!
What makes him so good?

ain't got no distractions
Can't hear no buzzers and bells,
Don't see no lights a flashin'
Plays by sense of smell.
Always gets a replay,
Never tilts at all,
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball.

I thought I was
The Bally table king.
But I just handed
My pinball crown to him.

Even on my favorite table
He can beat my best.
His disciples lead him in
And he just does the rest.
He's got crazy flipper fingers
Never seen him fall.
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball!

Lyrics