Lyrics

CLS

to ``Be Our Guest'' from Beauty and the Beast

C-L-S! C-L-S! Not too shabby when there's guests With judicial company in town And never mind the press Most free booze In New York Grab a glass and pop a cork Toast to Roberts Pour the spirits Day off classes just to hear it Get your drinks, all for free When the judge enters JG Cause a beer for free is never second guessed Go on and chug martinis Til you're weak in the knees Drink your best At C-L-S Drink your best Rum and coke G and T Crackers served with wine and brie They do try to satisfy Your alcoholic fantasies Open bar! Have some port Has to last you through moot court You'll be antsy and complaining Counting down the time remaining It's a bore! I admit I really could not give a shit Who would sit forever through Some legal mess? Come on and double fist I guess if you insist On C-L-S If you're stressed Just get shit-faced, we suggest! C-L-S! C-L-S! C-L-S! School is disconcerting For a student who's not learning Who's not whole without a role as teacher's pet Ah, those good old days when we were 1-Ls Suddenly, an A’s not hard to get Three years of hard drinking Watched while all my grades were sinking Needing anything to motivate my work Most nights we just sit around the law school Boring, lame and sexless You walked in and left us breathless! C-L-S! C-L-S! We place clerks amongst the best May be worse than number four last year But we destroy the rest Law and Arts, Law Review All our books are colored blue Now our students are applying Don't say no or we'll be crying We can read, we can write We can even check your cites We don't drink! So we can look over your work! We are New York's finest So please don't deny us Don't be a jerk Let us clerk! Let us clerk! Let us clerk! C-L-S! C-L-S! Our research exceeds the rest We've been taking Westlaw training and it's clear That we're the best Yalies suck, Harvard blows Penn kids snort stuff up their nose With a lib-er-al's compassion And a waspy sense of fashion Beer or wine Sleep or notes Bush did not receive our votes But as chief justice you still could be the best Tonight see what we argue Then pick one of our crew C-L-S! C-L-S! C-L-S! Please, like us best!

Be our guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie And we'll provide the rest Soup du jour Hot hors d'oeuvres Why, we only live to serve Try the grey stuff It's delicious Don't believe me? Ask the dishes They can sing, they can dance After all, Miss, this is France And a dinner here is never second best Go on, unfold your menu Take a glance and then you'll Be our guest Oui, our guest Be our guest! Beef ragout Cheese souffle Pie and pudding "en flambe" We'll prepare and serve with flair A culinary cabaret! You're alone And you're scared But the banquet's all prepared No one's gloomy or complaining While the flatware's entertaining We tell jokes! I do tricks With my fellow candlesticks And it's all in perfect taste That you can bet Come on and lift your glass You've won your own free pass To be out guest If you're stressed It's fine dining we suggest Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Life is so unnerving For a servant who's not serving He's not whole without a soul to wait upon Ah, those good old days when we were useful... Suddenly those good old days are gone Ten years we've been rusting Needing so much more than dusting Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills! Most days we just lay around the castle Flabby, fat and lazy You walked in and oops-a-daisy! Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Get your worries off your chest Let us say for your entree, we've an array May we suggest: Try the bread! Try the soup! When the croutons loop de loop It's a treat for any dinner Don't belive me? Ask the china Singing pork! Dancing veal! What an entertaining meal! How could anyone be gloomy and depressed? We'll make you shout "encore!" And send us out for more So, be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Our command is your request It's been years since we've had anybody here And we're obsessed With your meal, with your ease Yes, indeed, we aim to please While the candlelight's still glowing Let us help you, We'll keep going Course by course One by one `Til you shout, ``Enough! I'm done!'' Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest Tonight you'll prop your feet up But for now, let's eat up Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Please, be our guest!

Original lyrics copyright © 2008. All rights reserved.