Columbia Law Revue

Columbia Is Bleeding

to "California Dreamin'" by The Mamas & The Papas

Do not go downtown
Not even for one day
They'll invite you for a talk
At NYU you'll stay
No Ivy on their walls
Just like at UVA
Columbia is bleeding
Our professors away

I did my research (Westlaw research )
On whom to hire and pay (Pissing tuition away)
You know, I got down on my knees (Like any good dean)
And I begged Waldron to stay (Jerry, don't go away!)
All our teachers are so old (We're talking Henkin old )
They're either bald or gray (Greenberg freed the slaves! )
Oh, Columbia is bleeding (Columbia's bleeding)
Our professors away

Won't you stay uptown (Don't let me down)
I'll even give you a raise (Right out of Schizer's pay)
I will be your rock (He will suck your cock)
Wait, I'm really not gay (Maybe a little gay)
I should have hired Primus (Richard was the finest)
That's my worst mistake (It made our hearts break)
Oh, Columbia is bleeding
Our professors away (Columbia's bleeding)
Our professors away (Columbia's bleeding)
Our professors away

All the leaves are brown
And the sky is grey
I went for a walk
On a winter's day
I'd be safe and warm
If I was in L.A.
California dreamin'
On such a winter's day

I stopped into a church (Stopped into a church)
I passed along the way (Passed along the way)
You know, I got down on my knees (Got down on my knees)
And I pretend to pray (I pretend to pray)
Oh, the preacher likes the cold (Preacher likes the cold)
He knows I'm gonna stay (Knows I'm gonna stay)
Oh, California dreamin' (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day

All the leaves are brown (The leaves are brown)
And the sky is grey (And the sky is grey)
I went for a walk (I went for a walk)
On a winter's day (On a winter's day)
If I didn't tell her (If I didn't tell her)
I could leave today (I could leave today)
Oh, California dreamin' (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day (California dreamin')
On such a winter's day

Lyrics