Lyrics

One Week

to "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies

(chorus) I've spent one week with Chemerinsky Due process never made much sense to me Five days of the UCC, praying I don't confuse it with IIED Three days learning evidence Still don't know the difference 'tween guilt and innocence What the hell's the FRCP? But I've still got two days to learn it all from Bar/Bri Didn't learn a thing in three years Now I've got big fears That I'm gonna fail that bar exam If I get burned by my firm And if they don't let me return I'll be a JAG lawyer somewhere in Afghanistan Hard like Mark Foley around teen boys So many decoys Was the killer really O.J.? Who really cares about state law? Aside from slip-and-falls Lawyers who advertise on subways Studying all night to get it right I've got to know my civ pro tight Like 12(b)(6), the plaintiff failed to state a claim here Motions to dismiss, let judges diss Judicial bliss, without remiss The plaintiff's counsel's gonna forfeit its retainer I never thought that I should take a black letter class When I could just take Bartczak for an easy pass I'm the kind of guy who crams for every final Pick up my exam before I learn the material Short attention span, I'm thinking I have ADD I'm out of Aderol, my mind is a blank (chorus) Glannon's and Gilbert's, the gunners all grab 'em Take your casebooks, better start to tab 'em Property law's fuckin' hard, dude I'm totally screwed The Lord of Blackacre is so rude Like Rapaczynski, I've got nervous ticks Like Wu, I get chicks Like Schizer, barely old enough to drive Like Greenberg-Kobrin, I get hot looks Okay, not such hot looks Except from sketchy Law Revue guys Gonna chug-a-lug-of better beer Gonna sink the drink without any fear Just so my worries aren't always killing my chance to pass Gotta use these days to clear my craze Find all the ways to write essays For third tier dicks who don't know brains from their ass I never thought that I should take a black letter class When I could just take Bartczak for an easy pass I'm the kind of guy who crams for every final Pick up my exam before I learn the material Short attention span, I'm thinking I have ADD I'm out of Ritalin, my mind is a blank (chorus) I've still got two days to learn it all from Bar/Bri I've still got two days to learn it all from Bar/Bri Damn, this is harder than the MPRE

(chorus) It's been one week since you looked at me Cocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry" Five days since you laughed at me saying "Get that together, come back and see me" Three days since the living room I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you Yesterday you'd forgiven me But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry Hold it now and watch the hoodwink As I make you stop, think You'll think you're looking at Aquaman I summon fish to the dish Although I like the Chalet Swiss I like the sushi 'cause it's never touched a frying pan Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes Big like LeAnn Rimes Because I'm all about value Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits You try to match wits You try to hold me but I bust through Gonna make a break and take a fake I'd like a stinkin achin shake I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know The vertigo is gonna grow 'Cause it's so dangerous you'll have to sign a waiver How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral Can't understand what I mean, well, you soon will I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve I have a history of taking off my shirt (chorus) Chickity China, the Chinese chicken You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin' Watchin' X-Files with no lights on We're dans la maison I hope the Smoking Man's in this one Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic Like Sting I'm tantric Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy Like Kurasawa I make mad films Okay, I don't make films But if I did they'd have a Samurai Gonna get a set of better clubs Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back-swing Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon 'Cause the cartoon has got the boom anime babes That make me think the wrong thing How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral Can't understand what I mean, well, you soon will I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve I have a history of losing my shirt (chorus) It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry Birchmount Stadium, home of the Robbie

Original lyrics copyright © 2007. All rights reserved.