Columbia Law Revue

Where Are the Single 1Ls?

to “Castle on a Cloud” and “Do You Hear the People Sing” from Les Miserables

Where are the single 1L boys?
Where are the single 1L men?
Strong writing hands and a long hard … pen—
That’s all I need to bring me joy.

Where is my hickey, where's my ring?
How am I going to meet my groom
When he's jerking off in his room—
Need a man now or else I’m doomed

Dreamed of a Wedding all in white,
‘Stead I will be at Paul Weiss —
Work sixteen hours each day till dawn—
Until my nuptial prospects are all gone…

Where is my single 1L prince?
Where is my single 1L knight?
If in three years you don't come forth,
I'll have to marry Michael Dorf.
Where are the single 1L girls?
What is the thing with this JD?
College boyfriends won't give up their darling
Millionaires-to-be!
One's a loser, lives with mom,
This one's boyfriend has no life—
And he's squatting on my rights
To a trophy wife.

Ask a 1L out to dinner,
She'll say "Yes, if you will pay,"
Try to kiss her, then she'll tell you,
"Oh I thought that you were gay—"
(Then) why do you still say on Facebook you want random play!

Where are the single 1L girls?
What is the thing with this JD
That repels the chicks who need to get
Their MRS degree?
Though the undergrads will do,
I would very gladly trade
CLS, for NYU,
if it gets me laid.

Here's a cause we can't ignore
Someone tell Dean Iwerebon
To switch their grades and LSATs for
their score on match.com!
(So they) flirt for five minutes and not drop the boyfriend bomb!
Where are the single 1L girls?
What is the thing with this JD?
Why are hickeys and engagement rings
As far as I can see?
Stop downloading porn in class
Go and get that greener grass—
Take a walk to Butler,
And tap that freshman ass!

There is a castle on a cloud,
I like to go there in my sleep,
Aren't any floors for me to sweep,
Not in my castle on a cloud.

There is a room that's full of toys,
There are a hundred boys and girls.
Nobody shouts or talks too loud,
Not in my castle on a cloud.

There is a lady all in white,
Holds me and sings a lullaby,
She's nice to see and she's soft to touch,
She says, "Cosette, I love you very much!"

There is a place where no one's lost,
There a place where no one cries,
Crying, at all, is not allowed,
Not in my castle on a cloud.

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing the song of angry men?
It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again.
When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums
there is a life about to start when tomorrow comes.

Will you join in our crusade who will be strong and stand withme?
Beyond the barricades in there a world you long to see?
then join in the fight that will give you the right to be free.

Do you hear the people sing...

Will you give all you can give so that our banner may advance?
Some will fall and some will live,
will you stand up and take your chance?
The blood of the martyrs will water the meadows of france

Lyrics